Annual reviews are never fun. But sometimes you can learn something from them that you can use outside of work.
I had my annual review on Wednesday, and didn't really think much of it - it was mainly compliments on my work ethic, my ability to grasp new concepts, and my speed and efficiency. The only critique I received was that I needed to be more assertive, instead of being so passive.
Like I said, I didn't really think much about it. I decided I'd take that advice and begin working on being more assertive at work, as requested, but I didn't consider how I could use it outside of work.
Well, as I was driving to work today, I was thinking about what I wanted to write about, and I kept coming up blank. But then I remembered my annual review and how they had told me I needed to be more assertive, and I realized that this didn't just have to pertain to work.
It could also pertain to my walk with Christ. It could pertain to how effective I was at reaching people for Christ, to how devoted I was to learning more about Him, to what I did with my time and whether or not what I did helped further His kingdom.
I realized while driving that I needed to be more assertive in Godly ways, instead of just humanly ways. I needed to be more assertive to get people to know Christ. I needed to be more assertive in getting to know Christ myself. This could include prayer, worship, teaching, or simply talking to someone about my Saviour.
I was being a timid sheep, carefully keeping to myself and the few people I interacted with, instead of being a lion and charging forward with a mighty roar.
I've heard it asked that if you truly loved someone, why wouldn't you want to tell them the truth about your Savior so that they could have eternal life and happiness with Jesus? And I had never really thought about that either, because I thought I was doing a fair-enough job.
But you know something?
Fair-enough isn't good enough. Good enough isn't great enough. Great enough isn't even considered 'enough'.
I was willing to live in a 'fair-enough' way, and by doing so, I was being passive.
I'm sick and tired of being a passive Christian, of being a sheep. I'm ready to be assertive; I'm ready to be a lion. I want to talk about my faith to anybody who is willing to listen; I have decided to attempt to wake up earlier so I can spend time in the Word and praying; I have determined that I will spend more time preparing for my kids on Wednesday and Sunday.
And these are just the minor things.
I have also determined that sometime soon, whether this year or next, I want to go on an international mission trip where I can love on people, share the Gospel with as many as possible, and bless them while I'm there.
As Christians, we are called to love our neighbors - this includes those in poverty-stricken environments, and I want to do what I am called to do. I want to love these people, and the best way I know to love them is to share the truth about Christ.
So let's stop being passive. Let's be assertive.
Instead of being timid sheep, let's roar like lions.
Friday, January 29, 2016
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Stage Fright
For those of you who don't know, and it may be hard to believe, I wanted to be an actor when I was growing up. I loved being on stage, with the lights shining upon my face, putting on a good show. Well, for the past 6 or so years, I couldn't even fathom getting up in front of people. I had so many insecurities because of past issues with college and friendships that I practically shunned the stage.
I had lost a big part of myself. But I didn't even realize it until this past Wednesday.
If you're following this blog, you know that I volunteered to lead kids worship at Mission 56. A better way to describe this is not actually as a 'leader' of kids worship - I was just one of the singers, following behind the actual leader - but as a 'hype-man', as the band called me. I had volunteered to get the kids dancing, singing and praising our Savior.
Well, that was a crazy thought considering I hadn't been on a stage in over 6 years, and the idea terrified me.
But I decided I wanted to try it again, with new-found confidence that I have found thanks to my wonderful girlfriend, my loving parents, and my faithful God.
I know I've written that I was paralyzed at the thought of getting up in front of all those kids, but come Tuesday night as I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep, my mind was racing. And I realized, I wasn't terrified. I was excited. I felt like a kid who couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve because he knew that Santa would be bringing him awesome presents during the night. I was anxious and excited for Wednesday night to go ahead and arrive, because I couldn't wait to get back on that stage.
I kept mentally thinking about what songs we were going to do, the hand motions for each, what I would say to the kids, how I'd get them pumped up, would I pass the mic around, would I stay on stage or mingle in the crowd? I wasn't thinking about my insecurity - I was thinking about the wonder of being on stage, 'leading' kids in worship.
Come Wednesday evening at rehearsal, I was bouncing around just waiting for the service to actually start. My nerves felt strung-out, but it wasn't because I was nervous. It was because I was so excited.
As the kids entered the auditorium, a few of them saw that I was holding a mic in my hand, and asked if I was going to be the guest speaker. Then one chimed in and said "You can't sing! Why are you on stage?"
One of my worst fears had come to light - my insecurity that my singing voice wasn't up to par had been noticed, and I hadn't even begun singing yet! But instead of allowing that negative comment to get me down and make me nervous, I turned it into a joke, asking if that kid thought I really cared what a bunch of 5th grade boys thought of me.
Truthfully? At that moment, I didn't. I was ready to praise my Savior, and if these kids didn't like it, they could get over it, because I wasn't going anywhere.
Well, my comment helped level the playing field, and got the kids laughing, even the one who had chimed in with negativity. They were suddenly talking over one another, asking me questions, making me feel extremely comfortable, where I was just a moment ago uncomfortable.
Then it came time to actually start, and before I knew it, I was speaking to them. I told them that I was tired of seeing their lackluster attempts at worship, barely clapping, never singing, not moving, and just staring lazily at the band. That's not true worship, and the point of coming to Mission 56 (and church, in general) is to worship our God - whether that's by song, sermon or service.
I then told them that I was going to get them moving, dancing, singing. WORSHIPING. And you know something? They were thrilled! They were so excited that they were able to dance and move. They had gotten so used to just standing and slowly clapping that they had forgotten what true worship feels like.
The band started playing and I weaved in and out of the crowd, singing my heart out. And it was beautiful to hear their voices lifting up worship to their Savior. I got them dancing, doing motions to the songs, waving their hands in the air, clapping feverishly. I let a good many of them actually sing into the mic, as they sung their hearts out. It got to the point where whenever I passed by, the kids would form a line in front of me so I couldn't pass, just so I could see them dancing and singing.
We lifted our hearts and souls to God, giving Him all the praise only He deserves, and it made my heart swell.
When the service was over, a good many kids came up and thanked me for allowing them to get moving. The one who had made the negative comment came up to me and said that he hoped we could do that every week, and that I had a "tremendous singing voice". If that's not confirmation that I was doing what God wanted me to, I don't know what is.
Going back to the beginning of this blog post, I grew up on the stage, but I had lost that part of myself.
But I had decided to follow God's direction for my life, task a risk, walk on water, and do the impossible. And I have received the greatest reward for that, for trusting God to guide me through something that I thought was crazy and terrifying.
Don't miss out on opportunities that God is calling you to, because He's already paved the way. He's just waiting for you to take that step.
So, let's start worshiping.
I had lost a big part of myself. But I didn't even realize it until this past Wednesday.
If you're following this blog, you know that I volunteered to lead kids worship at Mission 56. A better way to describe this is not actually as a 'leader' of kids worship - I was just one of the singers, following behind the actual leader - but as a 'hype-man', as the band called me. I had volunteered to get the kids dancing, singing and praising our Savior.
Well, that was a crazy thought considering I hadn't been on a stage in over 6 years, and the idea terrified me.
But I decided I wanted to try it again, with new-found confidence that I have found thanks to my wonderful girlfriend, my loving parents, and my faithful God.
I know I've written that I was paralyzed at the thought of getting up in front of all those kids, but come Tuesday night as I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep, my mind was racing. And I realized, I wasn't terrified. I was excited. I felt like a kid who couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve because he knew that Santa would be bringing him awesome presents during the night. I was anxious and excited for Wednesday night to go ahead and arrive, because I couldn't wait to get back on that stage.
I kept mentally thinking about what songs we were going to do, the hand motions for each, what I would say to the kids, how I'd get them pumped up, would I pass the mic around, would I stay on stage or mingle in the crowd? I wasn't thinking about my insecurity - I was thinking about the wonder of being on stage, 'leading' kids in worship.
Come Wednesday evening at rehearsal, I was bouncing around just waiting for the service to actually start. My nerves felt strung-out, but it wasn't because I was nervous. It was because I was so excited.
As the kids entered the auditorium, a few of them saw that I was holding a mic in my hand, and asked if I was going to be the guest speaker. Then one chimed in and said "You can't sing! Why are you on stage?"
One of my worst fears had come to light - my insecurity that my singing voice wasn't up to par had been noticed, and I hadn't even begun singing yet! But instead of allowing that negative comment to get me down and make me nervous, I turned it into a joke, asking if that kid thought I really cared what a bunch of 5th grade boys thought of me.
Truthfully? At that moment, I didn't. I was ready to praise my Savior, and if these kids didn't like it, they could get over it, because I wasn't going anywhere.
Well, my comment helped level the playing field, and got the kids laughing, even the one who had chimed in with negativity. They were suddenly talking over one another, asking me questions, making me feel extremely comfortable, where I was just a moment ago uncomfortable.
Then it came time to actually start, and before I knew it, I was speaking to them. I told them that I was tired of seeing their lackluster attempts at worship, barely clapping, never singing, not moving, and just staring lazily at the band. That's not true worship, and the point of coming to Mission 56 (and church, in general) is to worship our God - whether that's by song, sermon or service.
I then told them that I was going to get them moving, dancing, singing. WORSHIPING. And you know something? They were thrilled! They were so excited that they were able to dance and move. They had gotten so used to just standing and slowly clapping that they had forgotten what true worship feels like.
The band started playing and I weaved in and out of the crowd, singing my heart out. And it was beautiful to hear their voices lifting up worship to their Savior. I got them dancing, doing motions to the songs, waving their hands in the air, clapping feverishly. I let a good many of them actually sing into the mic, as they sung their hearts out. It got to the point where whenever I passed by, the kids would form a line in front of me so I couldn't pass, just so I could see them dancing and singing.
We lifted our hearts and souls to God, giving Him all the praise only He deserves, and it made my heart swell.
When the service was over, a good many kids came up and thanked me for allowing them to get moving. The one who had made the negative comment came up to me and said that he hoped we could do that every week, and that I had a "tremendous singing voice". If that's not confirmation that I was doing what God wanted me to, I don't know what is.
Going back to the beginning of this blog post, I grew up on the stage, but I had lost that part of myself.
But I had decided to follow God's direction for my life, task a risk, walk on water, and do the impossible. And I have received the greatest reward for that, for trusting God to guide me through something that I thought was crazy and terrifying.
Don't miss out on opportunities that God is calling you to, because He's already paved the way. He's just waiting for you to take that step.
So, let's start worshiping.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Camp Lessons
This past weekend, I had the privilege of being a camp counselor for 66 5th and 6th graders. I say 'privilege', because I was so blessed during my time there. I was able to teach these kids about God, spend time getting to know them, and help them through some difficulties that inevitably came up. And in return, they blessed me.
I volunteered to be a camp counselor, despite the fact that I'd only been part of Mission 56 for a short while, and I didn't even really know any of the kids. However, something told me that I was supposed to go.
Once we got there, it seemed like everything was going wrong. The kids were rowdy and wanted to stay up as late as possible, despite there being a curfew, so the adults got hardly any sleep that first night. Then the next morning, I decided to try a game (GaGa Ball, for those interested) which I had never played before. Before long, I was injured - I had stepped on the ball, twisted my leg and landed on my knee, which felt like it had popped out of joint. I couldn't stand, much less walk. But now, I was supposed to lead the kids back to the dining hall, get breakfast, then go climb rock-walls, ride zip-lines and play human foosball.
Did I mention I could barely walk?
But, I sucked it up and did what I was supposed to do. I had volunteered for this trip, and I was determined to make the most out of it. I'd never zip-lined before, so I definitely wanted to do that. I'd never actually completed a rock-wall, so I was determined to ring the bell at the top. I had never played human foosball before, so I was adamant that I would at least try.
Eventually, I couldn't even feel the pain in my knee anymore, simply because I had ignored it so long. Or maybe I had worked out the tight muscles. Either way, it was only a dull throb now, instead of the excruciating pain that it was that morning.
During this weekend, I was able to try things I had never done before, meet kids I had never known, form friendships with people I had never met, and teach children about my Saviour. If I had complained about my knee and used it as an excuse to sit out of the activities, I would've missed out on so much more.
By the end of the trip, I had one kid who was glued to my side: wherever I went, so did he. It was so obvious to the other counselors that this kid had attached himself to me that they allowed him to sit up front with me in the 'chaperone only' area of the bus on the way home.
When we got home, he was so excited to introduce me to his mother, who informed me that he had been extremely nervous about going on this trip at all. She said she was so glad that he had found someone who could encourage him and show him that there was nothing to be anxious about. I didn't even know he was nervous about the trip - to me, he had seemed to be having a blast. But his mom assured me that it was because I was there with him constantly.
How crazy is that? Without even realizing it, I had influenced a 5th grader and helped him through something that I didn't even know he was dealing with! And to think, I would've missed this opportunity if I had simply sat in my room, complaining about knee pain.
This really opened my eyes. I had to reflect on whether or not I wanted to think only about myself and my discomfort, or if I wanted to ignore anything I'm dealing with in order to help others. And after hearing his mom's thankfulness, I have resolved that no matter what comes my way, I will never let my circumstances hinder me from doing what I have signed up to do. I will fulfill my obligations, no matter the cost.
I hope this has been inspiring, and that it helps you open your eyes to those around you. Sometimes, it seems like the only option is to complain. But, if we decide to focus on others instead of ourselves, there's no telling who we might influence.
For me, it was a 10 year old boy who was nervous about being so far away from home for the first time.
I volunteered to be a camp counselor, despite the fact that I'd only been part of Mission 56 for a short while, and I didn't even really know any of the kids. However, something told me that I was supposed to go.
Once we got there, it seemed like everything was going wrong. The kids were rowdy and wanted to stay up as late as possible, despite there being a curfew, so the adults got hardly any sleep that first night. Then the next morning, I decided to try a game (GaGa Ball, for those interested) which I had never played before. Before long, I was injured - I had stepped on the ball, twisted my leg and landed on my knee, which felt like it had popped out of joint. I couldn't stand, much less walk. But now, I was supposed to lead the kids back to the dining hall, get breakfast, then go climb rock-walls, ride zip-lines and play human foosball.
Did I mention I could barely walk?
But, I sucked it up and did what I was supposed to do. I had volunteered for this trip, and I was determined to make the most out of it. I'd never zip-lined before, so I definitely wanted to do that. I'd never actually completed a rock-wall, so I was determined to ring the bell at the top. I had never played human foosball before, so I was adamant that I would at least try.
Eventually, I couldn't even feel the pain in my knee anymore, simply because I had ignored it so long. Or maybe I had worked out the tight muscles. Either way, it was only a dull throb now, instead of the excruciating pain that it was that morning.
During this weekend, I was able to try things I had never done before, meet kids I had never known, form friendships with people I had never met, and teach children about my Saviour. If I had complained about my knee and used it as an excuse to sit out of the activities, I would've missed out on so much more.
By the end of the trip, I had one kid who was glued to my side: wherever I went, so did he. It was so obvious to the other counselors that this kid had attached himself to me that they allowed him to sit up front with me in the 'chaperone only' area of the bus on the way home.
When we got home, he was so excited to introduce me to his mother, who informed me that he had been extremely nervous about going on this trip at all. She said she was so glad that he had found someone who could encourage him and show him that there was nothing to be anxious about. I didn't even know he was nervous about the trip - to me, he had seemed to be having a blast. But his mom assured me that it was because I was there with him constantly.
How crazy is that? Without even realizing it, I had influenced a 5th grader and helped him through something that I didn't even know he was dealing with! And to think, I would've missed this opportunity if I had simply sat in my room, complaining about knee pain.
This really opened my eyes. I had to reflect on whether or not I wanted to think only about myself and my discomfort, or if I wanted to ignore anything I'm dealing with in order to help others. And after hearing his mom's thankfulness, I have resolved that no matter what comes my way, I will never let my circumstances hinder me from doing what I have signed up to do. I will fulfill my obligations, no matter the cost.
I hope this has been inspiring, and that it helps you open your eyes to those around you. Sometimes, it seems like the only option is to complain. But, if we decide to focus on others instead of ourselves, there's no telling who we might influence.
For me, it was a 10 year old boy who was nervous about being so far away from home for the first time.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Walk on Water
It's funny how, when you're struggling with something, God steps in and tells you not to concern yourself with it.
If you've been following this blog, you know that I don't like being in front of people. I don't like having the spotlight on me. But you also know that I have volunteered to help lead the kids worship on Wednesday nights.
Excited? A bit.
Crazy? Definitely.
Nervous? Beyond belief.
Well, I found out when volunteering at the 8am service on Sunday that I will begin leading kids worship on January 20, 2016. And I was scared silly.
I tried not to think about how I was feeling - like I was going to throw up. I was tempted to tell the Kids Ministry Director that I couldn't do it anymore. Thoughts were swirling around in my mind, making me doubt if I could even do this, making me nauseous to the point I almost left church, and I had come to the conclusion that clearly, this couldn't be what God wanted for me. He wouldn't make me so insecure in this area, then ask me to step up and be a leader.
Right?
As it turned out, I couldn't leave church, because I still had to lead my 4th graders, and my co-leader was out with a sick child. So, as much as I wanted to run away, I forced myself to stay at church. So I prayed. Real hard.
I prayed for guidance, for wisdom, for peace, for quietness of my mind, for confirmation that this was what He wanted for me, for strength to go through with it if it was, for my heart to stop pounding in my chest, for a steady calm.
But most importantly, I prayed for courage to do whatever He asked of me.
I got through the teaching of my 4th graders, and decided to go on to church. I knew we were currently going through a series called KNOW FEAR, and figured that it would help, because I was severely struggling with my fear of getting up in front of a group of 75 5th and 6th graders and singing.
And, did I learn something. Oh, did I....
In one sermon, God quieted all of my concerns.
The pastor speaking decided to speak on the fear of the unknown, and how we have to be willing to listen to God, despite our fears. Way to hit me in the face, God.
He spoke about Peter seeing Jesus walking on the water and saying "Lord, if it's really You, tell me to step out of this boat and come to you". And Jesus' response was "All right, come." So, Peter stepped out of the safety and security of his boat, trusting Jesus, and he walked on water. He did the impossible.
He then made the point that sometimes God calls us to do things that absolutely terrify us, but that He wouldn't call us to it if He didn't already have a plan. I couldn't help but think of myself and my current situation.
Then he said, "If we allow it, fear can paralyze us." And I knew God was talking to me through the pastor. I was immobilized. I was paralyzed with fear, to the point that I was willing to run away instead of listening to what I knew God was telling me to do.
There were more points the pastor made, but by the end of it, I felt like I had my answer. God was calling me to lead kids worship, and I could either answer His call, step out of my boat and risk walking on water, or I could grab the paddles and row away. As tempting as the latter is - I still contemplate doing this - I know that God is calling me to so much more.
What kind of faith do I have in my God if at the first sign of risk, I run away? Do I not have faith in Him enough to know that He called me to this, and He will help me through it? I want to live a life pleasing to God, where I can show people that no matter what you're called to do, God is with you and will help you through it all.
I've decided to be like Peter. Despite my fear, I am stepping out of my boat, and plan to do the impossible.
I'm going to walk on water.
If you've been following this blog, you know that I don't like being in front of people. I don't like having the spotlight on me. But you also know that I have volunteered to help lead the kids worship on Wednesday nights.
Excited? A bit.
Crazy? Definitely.
Nervous? Beyond belief.
Well, I found out when volunteering at the 8am service on Sunday that I will begin leading kids worship on January 20, 2016. And I was scared silly.
I tried not to think about how I was feeling - like I was going to throw up. I was tempted to tell the Kids Ministry Director that I couldn't do it anymore. Thoughts were swirling around in my mind, making me doubt if I could even do this, making me nauseous to the point I almost left church, and I had come to the conclusion that clearly, this couldn't be what God wanted for me. He wouldn't make me so insecure in this area, then ask me to step up and be a leader.
Right?
As it turned out, I couldn't leave church, because I still had to lead my 4th graders, and my co-leader was out with a sick child. So, as much as I wanted to run away, I forced myself to stay at church. So I prayed. Real hard.
I prayed for guidance, for wisdom, for peace, for quietness of my mind, for confirmation that this was what He wanted for me, for strength to go through with it if it was, for my heart to stop pounding in my chest, for a steady calm.
But most importantly, I prayed for courage to do whatever He asked of me.
I got through the teaching of my 4th graders, and decided to go on to church. I knew we were currently going through a series called KNOW FEAR, and figured that it would help, because I was severely struggling with my fear of getting up in front of a group of 75 5th and 6th graders and singing.
And, did I learn something. Oh, did I....
In one sermon, God quieted all of my concerns.
The pastor speaking decided to speak on the fear of the unknown, and how we have to be willing to listen to God, despite our fears. Way to hit me in the face, God.
He spoke about Peter seeing Jesus walking on the water and saying "Lord, if it's really You, tell me to step out of this boat and come to you". And Jesus' response was "All right, come." So, Peter stepped out of the safety and security of his boat, trusting Jesus, and he walked on water. He did the impossible.
He then made the point that sometimes God calls us to do things that absolutely terrify us, but that He wouldn't call us to it if He didn't already have a plan. I couldn't help but think of myself and my current situation.
Then he said, "If we allow it, fear can paralyze us." And I knew God was talking to me through the pastor. I was immobilized. I was paralyzed with fear, to the point that I was willing to run away instead of listening to what I knew God was telling me to do.
There were more points the pastor made, but by the end of it, I felt like I had my answer. God was calling me to lead kids worship, and I could either answer His call, step out of my boat and risk walking on water, or I could grab the paddles and row away. As tempting as the latter is - I still contemplate doing this - I know that God is calling me to so much more.
What kind of faith do I have in my God if at the first sign of risk, I run away? Do I not have faith in Him enough to know that He called me to this, and He will help me through it? I want to live a life pleasing to God, where I can show people that no matter what you're called to do, God is with you and will help you through it all.
I've decided to be like Peter. Despite my fear, I am stepping out of my boat, and plan to do the impossible.
I'm going to walk on water.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
New Year, New You
I absolutely deplore that saying: 'New Year, New You'. I truly don't believe the New Year has anything to do with making a change, whether it's a relationship, health, kindness or anything else. It's just another day when you think about it; all you update is the year at the end of the date. You can make a change at any time of the year.
But, I do like the idea of leaving negativity and bad memories behind in the past year and forging ahead with happy thoughts and a renewed sense of purpose in the New Year. And that's what I'm mostly looking forward to.
I've had a lot of bad things happen to me things this past year, namely getting a divorce. But I'm looking forward to 2016 with fresh eyes, and have decided to leave all the garbage that was associated with my divorce behind me in 2015.
When I received the papers on Dec 7, 2015, I had a long heart-to-heart with God that completely wore me out. But during that time, I asked Him to help me leave it all behind so that I could move forward and be happy again. I didn't want something that had happened so long ago to affect my future.
While I was praying, I asked Him to close that chapter in my life, and put all that negativity onto the papers and file it all away at once. And, I truly believe He answered my prayer. Once I filed those papers away, I felt so much happier, like a weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again.
I was happy, and looking forward to my future.
2016 hasn't even begun yet, but there are so many things that I'm looking forward to experiencing in this next year. I'm deciding to be positive, not letting my circumstances hold me back, and to be a light for Christ no matter what trials come my way.
I'm looking forward to new relationships that I know will form, both friendships and romance. I'm looking forward to teaching my 4th, 5th and 6th graders and growing closer to them as they grow closer to Christ. I'm looking forward to going on the Winter Retreat with my church to spend a weekend with my kids. I'm looking forward to the possibility of going on a mission trip. I'm looking forward to attending at least one wedding, with the potential for two. I'm looking forward to where my career will lead me.
2016 is looking like a beautiful year, and it's not even started yet.
The reason of this post isn't to brag about how great I believe 2016 will be for me, but to inspire you to think the same. Many people have had a difficult 2015 - I know I have - but, I've learned that if we are willing to leave all that behind us and start fresh in the new year, we will have more happiness than we could ever imagine experiencing.
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken
So, pack up your baggage; leave it in the past. Pick yourself up and forge a new trail.
Start out the new year with a new set of eyes. And I promise, happiness will find you.
But, I do like the idea of leaving negativity and bad memories behind in the past year and forging ahead with happy thoughts and a renewed sense of purpose in the New Year. And that's what I'm mostly looking forward to.
I've had a lot of bad things happen to me things this past year, namely getting a divorce. But I'm looking forward to 2016 with fresh eyes, and have decided to leave all the garbage that was associated with my divorce behind me in 2015.
When I received the papers on Dec 7, 2015, I had a long heart-to-heart with God that completely wore me out. But during that time, I asked Him to help me leave it all behind so that I could move forward and be happy again. I didn't want something that had happened so long ago to affect my future.
While I was praying, I asked Him to close that chapter in my life, and put all that negativity onto the papers and file it all away at once. And, I truly believe He answered my prayer. Once I filed those papers away, I felt so much happier, like a weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again.
I was happy, and looking forward to my future.
2016 hasn't even begun yet, but there are so many things that I'm looking forward to experiencing in this next year. I'm deciding to be positive, not letting my circumstances hold me back, and to be a light for Christ no matter what trials come my way.
I'm looking forward to new relationships that I know will form, both friendships and romance. I'm looking forward to teaching my 4th, 5th and 6th graders and growing closer to them as they grow closer to Christ. I'm looking forward to going on the Winter Retreat with my church to spend a weekend with my kids. I'm looking forward to the possibility of going on a mission trip. I'm looking forward to attending at least one wedding, with the potential for two. I'm looking forward to where my career will lead me.
2016 is looking like a beautiful year, and it's not even started yet.
The reason of this post isn't to brag about how great I believe 2016 will be for me, but to inspire you to think the same. Many people have had a difficult 2015 - I know I have - but, I've learned that if we are willing to leave all that behind us and start fresh in the new year, we will have more happiness than we could ever imagine experiencing.
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken
So, pack up your baggage; leave it in the past. Pick yourself up and forge a new trail.
Start out the new year with a new set of eyes. And I promise, happiness will find you.
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Reason for the Season
During the holidays, it's easy to get wrapped up in all the festivities and forget the actual purpose behind them. It's easy to get so absorbed into planning the perfect Christmas meal, detailing the way Christmas morning will go, listing out all the presents to buy, and preparing to enjoy time with your loved ones that you actually don't enjoy the time with your loved ones. Instead, it becomes a chore. An exhausting, hectic, stressful chore.
I know the holidays have officially passed and most likely all the stress that came with them is slowly dissipating, but I still feel like people need a reminder of what the holiday's are all about.
They aren't about presents and food and, no, not even family. They're about one person and one person only, and that's Jesus Christ. The Christmas season is about celebrating the birth of our risen Savior, and unless we actually consciously acknowledge this fact, we can easily trudge through the holidays not truly thinking about what we're celebrating.
And this is one way that we can let the holidays drain us mentally, physically and emotionally.
When we forget to acknowledge that Christmas isn't about Santa or what we put under the tree, but is instead about the King of Kings who was born of a virgin, came to Earth to live and die for you and me, and has risen and is alive, waiting for us in Heaven, the holidays become a chore. They're no longer a celebration as much as an obligation.
I've noticed in my short life that when people focus more on what they're buying their kids and less on where their kids will spend eternity, the holidays become almost sour. Instead of reminding kids (and even adults) that Christmas is about Jesus' birth and not about a big man in a red suit, Christmas becomes draining.
I have to be honest; I have been guilty of this in the past, and yes, even partly this Christmas. But it's taught me exactly what I'm telling you - by forgetting the reason for the season, the holidays are exhausting.
It can become mentally draining for a variety of reasons, most of which I've noticed tend to boil down to what we will be buying others. We put too much thought into what we can buy others so that they'll know just how much we care for them, but in reality, if we truly cared for them, we'd be more concerned with their eternity than their Christmas present. I hate to say it but, I know that I've been guilty of this. Maybe not this year, but I definitely have in the past. I know I have been so focused on figuring out what I want to buy someone, I didn't even bother to wonder if they were a follower of Christ. And isn't that sad? I was more concerned about buying them something that would give them momentary happiness that I wasn't even focused on whether or not they would receive eternal happiness.
I completely missed the point of Christmas.
Another way I've noticed it's draining is physically. We wear ourselves out trying to cook and clean and entertain and organize and plan and shop and decorate, that we forget to actually enjoy the holiday seasons. Chances are good, your family knows that you don't live in a house that's immaculately spotless. And I've noticed that they usually don't care. As my mom always says, "they know we live here."
This one hit me hard because I like things in their place; some call it OCD, others call it organized. But I've had to realize that it doesn't matter if there's a dirty plate on the counter when someone comes over, or if there are shoes by the front door. Nobody really cares. If I focused as much attention on my risen Savior and telling others about Him as I do worrying about what food to prepare or if I cleaned enough, the world would be a much better place. And honestly, I'd enjoy the holidays so much more, because I would remember they're not about me and anything I do anyway.
Lastly, they can be draining emotionally. After you spend all that time thinking and planning on the perfect gift, just for the recipient to open it and not like it? Emotionally draining. I know for me, it makes me feel like all my hard work at picking that gift was for nothing. But that's not the point at all - we have the perfect gift already and that's Jesus Christ, so why are we so wrapped up in finding another one? We will never find another perfect gift, so why do we let others opinions on something that ultimately will be shoved under the bed or into the closet really affect us? Truly, I don't know. Maybe it's just because we're human. Who knows?
There are more things that can be draining about the holidays, ranging from monetary things to relationships. But the point I want to make is that we shouldn't focus on those things, because they will make us miss the true point of Christmas.
Christmas is a reminder that Jesus, our Lord and Savior, came down to Earth for us. He was born of a virgin, God made flesh, for us. He died on the cross for us. He was beaten, cursed, whipped, spit on and nailed to a cross for us. He took all our sin upon Himself so that we could one day be in Heaven with Him. He defeated death once and for all, and became the penalty for our sins. He conquered Hell and paved the way to Heaven. For us. For you and me. For everyone, even though none of us deserve His grace and love.
And if we get so wrapped up in the holidays and trying to perfect every single detail of it, we will miss the most important part of the Christmas season, which is the reminder that Christ died for us and He wants to spend eternity with us.
Don't let the holidays be draining. Don't let the holidays be a distraction.
Let the holidays be a time of celebration for all He has done for you, and you'll truly celebrate and have a joyous holiday season.
I know the holidays have officially passed and most likely all the stress that came with them is slowly dissipating, but I still feel like people need a reminder of what the holiday's are all about.
They aren't about presents and food and, no, not even family. They're about one person and one person only, and that's Jesus Christ. The Christmas season is about celebrating the birth of our risen Savior, and unless we actually consciously acknowledge this fact, we can easily trudge through the holidays not truly thinking about what we're celebrating.
And this is one way that we can let the holidays drain us mentally, physically and emotionally.
When we forget to acknowledge that Christmas isn't about Santa or what we put under the tree, but is instead about the King of Kings who was born of a virgin, came to Earth to live and die for you and me, and has risen and is alive, waiting for us in Heaven, the holidays become a chore. They're no longer a celebration as much as an obligation.
I've noticed in my short life that when people focus more on what they're buying their kids and less on where their kids will spend eternity, the holidays become almost sour. Instead of reminding kids (and even adults) that Christmas is about Jesus' birth and not about a big man in a red suit, Christmas becomes draining.
I have to be honest; I have been guilty of this in the past, and yes, even partly this Christmas. But it's taught me exactly what I'm telling you - by forgetting the reason for the season, the holidays are exhausting.
It can become mentally draining for a variety of reasons, most of which I've noticed tend to boil down to what we will be buying others. We put too much thought into what we can buy others so that they'll know just how much we care for them, but in reality, if we truly cared for them, we'd be more concerned with their eternity than their Christmas present. I hate to say it but, I know that I've been guilty of this. Maybe not this year, but I definitely have in the past. I know I have been so focused on figuring out what I want to buy someone, I didn't even bother to wonder if they were a follower of Christ. And isn't that sad? I was more concerned about buying them something that would give them momentary happiness that I wasn't even focused on whether or not they would receive eternal happiness.
I completely missed the point of Christmas.
Another way I've noticed it's draining is physically. We wear ourselves out trying to cook and clean and entertain and organize and plan and shop and decorate, that we forget to actually enjoy the holiday seasons. Chances are good, your family knows that you don't live in a house that's immaculately spotless. And I've noticed that they usually don't care. As my mom always says, "they know we live here."
This one hit me hard because I like things in their place; some call it OCD, others call it organized. But I've had to realize that it doesn't matter if there's a dirty plate on the counter when someone comes over, or if there are shoes by the front door. Nobody really cares. If I focused as much attention on my risen Savior and telling others about Him as I do worrying about what food to prepare or if I cleaned enough, the world would be a much better place. And honestly, I'd enjoy the holidays so much more, because I would remember they're not about me and anything I do anyway.
Lastly, they can be draining emotionally. After you spend all that time thinking and planning on the perfect gift, just for the recipient to open it and not like it? Emotionally draining. I know for me, it makes me feel like all my hard work at picking that gift was for nothing. But that's not the point at all - we have the perfect gift already and that's Jesus Christ, so why are we so wrapped up in finding another one? We will never find another perfect gift, so why do we let others opinions on something that ultimately will be shoved under the bed or into the closet really affect us? Truly, I don't know. Maybe it's just because we're human. Who knows?
There are more things that can be draining about the holidays, ranging from monetary things to relationships. But the point I want to make is that we shouldn't focus on those things, because they will make us miss the true point of Christmas.
Christmas is a reminder that Jesus, our Lord and Savior, came down to Earth for us. He was born of a virgin, God made flesh, for us. He died on the cross for us. He was beaten, cursed, whipped, spit on and nailed to a cross for us. He took all our sin upon Himself so that we could one day be in Heaven with Him. He defeated death once and for all, and became the penalty for our sins. He conquered Hell and paved the way to Heaven. For us. For you and me. For everyone, even though none of us deserve His grace and love.
And if we get so wrapped up in the holidays and trying to perfect every single detail of it, we will miss the most important part of the Christmas season, which is the reminder that Christ died for us and He wants to spend eternity with us.
Don't let the holidays be draining. Don't let the holidays be a distraction.
Let the holidays be a time of celebration for all He has done for you, and you'll truly celebrate and have a joyous holiday season.
Monday, December 14, 2015
Joy to the World
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." - Romans 15:13.
It's the time of year where joy seems to abound, even to those who are generally grumpy or cranky. It's almost impossible to be without some kind of joy at this time of year, simply because of the music on the radio, the happiness of those who love this season, and the jubilation and excitement from kids waiting for Santa.
Truthfully, I was one of those who wasn't feeling very joyous this year; I was a real Scrooge. But my best friend refused to allow me to continue being a Scrooge - she'd taken it upon herself to make me enjoy this season, instead of saying "Bah Humbug" to all the festivities.
It's a bit ironic that while I wanted to a be Scrooge (which I no longer am), I wanted to spread joy to those around me. Even if I wasn't particularly looking forward to this season of celebration, renewal and exultation, I wanted to make sure everybody else had a great season.
This brings me to the topic I wanted to discuss: bringing joy to those around us.
My church decided to do something they called the #giveJoy initiative. In essence, they gave $100 to each small group (basically Sunday School), and each group could use it in any way they wanted in order to spread joy to those around them, including to help those within the church. I was excited about this opportunity to bless someone, but I had no idea that I would also be the one being blessed.
That sounds cliche: it's a blessing to bless others. But, truly, I wasn't even thinking about how I would be impacted because of a mere $100.
I contacted the woman my small group was paired with, and within minutes I had learned so much about her that my heart was breaking for her. She desperately needed help, and I was honored that my group had been selected to help her and her daughter have a great Christmas season.
It's only been 6 days since our initial conversation, but she has impacted my life so much more than we have impacted hers. But let me back up some.
During our initial conversation, she explained that her husband walked out on her and her daughter in January, so she lost her insurance coverage. Then she lost her job in September. Plus, her daughter's in a growth spurt, so she needs new clothes, but because she doesn't have a job, she can't afford anything. On top of this, they had only recently begun going to our church and didn't know anybody, so she felt excluded and like nobody cared.
Well, after our talk, I spoke with my small group about how we could spend our $100. Let me tell you - with a $15 off coupon and shopping on the clearance rack, $100 can go a long way. We went shopping on Sunday afternoon and bought her daughter probably 20 different outfits, a Bible, and then just some girly stuff just for fun. Then we decided to buy her mom a Bible of her own, a DVD player, another member of my group donated a TV, and a spa package - most of which was covered by our own pockets.
She and her daughter have also become honorary members of our small group - they may not fit the 'criteria' for our group, but we don't care. They now have people they know at church so they don't feel like outsiders. They have some backing when they need prayer warriors. And the mom has even decided to volunteer with the kids ministry on Wednesday nights. They're getting plugged in, and diving deeper towards God. All in 6 days!
Not to mention, we have also helped line her up with a few job interviews, thanks to the mother of one of our small group members. So hopefully soon, she will also have a job again and be on her way to getting back on her feet.
Now, how in the world could all of that impacted and blessed me, you ask?
Because, seeing her gratitude for everything has shown me to be thankful no matter what, even when I want to be a Scrooge. Seeing her lean on God through her trials has taught me to never remove my focus from Him, even when it's so tempting. Seeing a smile on her face when it was evident she hadn't smiled in a long time brought joy to my soul. Seeing her daughter light up every time she talks about the friends she's made at church and how excited she is to talk about God makes my heart swell.
Bringing joy to them has brought joy to my life, as cliche as that sounds.
So, when you're going through a tough time where you don't want to be joyous, I recommend being a blessing and bringing joy to someone else. Because chances are good, you'll get a heavy dose of it, too.
It's the time of year where joy seems to abound, even to those who are generally grumpy or cranky. It's almost impossible to be without some kind of joy at this time of year, simply because of the music on the radio, the happiness of those who love this season, and the jubilation and excitement from kids waiting for Santa.
Truthfully, I was one of those who wasn't feeling very joyous this year; I was a real Scrooge. But my best friend refused to allow me to continue being a Scrooge - she'd taken it upon herself to make me enjoy this season, instead of saying "Bah Humbug" to all the festivities.
It's a bit ironic that while I wanted to a be Scrooge (which I no longer am), I wanted to spread joy to those around me. Even if I wasn't particularly looking forward to this season of celebration, renewal and exultation, I wanted to make sure everybody else had a great season.
This brings me to the topic I wanted to discuss: bringing joy to those around us.
My church decided to do something they called the #giveJoy initiative. In essence, they gave $100 to each small group (basically Sunday School), and each group could use it in any way they wanted in order to spread joy to those around them, including to help those within the church. I was excited about this opportunity to bless someone, but I had no idea that I would also be the one being blessed.
That sounds cliche: it's a blessing to bless others. But, truly, I wasn't even thinking about how I would be impacted because of a mere $100.
I contacted the woman my small group was paired with, and within minutes I had learned so much about her that my heart was breaking for her. She desperately needed help, and I was honored that my group had been selected to help her and her daughter have a great Christmas season.
It's only been 6 days since our initial conversation, but she has impacted my life so much more than we have impacted hers. But let me back up some.
During our initial conversation, she explained that her husband walked out on her and her daughter in January, so she lost her insurance coverage. Then she lost her job in September. Plus, her daughter's in a growth spurt, so she needs new clothes, but because she doesn't have a job, she can't afford anything. On top of this, they had only recently begun going to our church and didn't know anybody, so she felt excluded and like nobody cared.
Well, after our talk, I spoke with my small group about how we could spend our $100. Let me tell you - with a $15 off coupon and shopping on the clearance rack, $100 can go a long way. We went shopping on Sunday afternoon and bought her daughter probably 20 different outfits, a Bible, and then just some girly stuff just for fun. Then we decided to buy her mom a Bible of her own, a DVD player, another member of my group donated a TV, and a spa package - most of which was covered by our own pockets.
She and her daughter have also become honorary members of our small group - they may not fit the 'criteria' for our group, but we don't care. They now have people they know at church so they don't feel like outsiders. They have some backing when they need prayer warriors. And the mom has even decided to volunteer with the kids ministry on Wednesday nights. They're getting plugged in, and diving deeper towards God. All in 6 days!
Not to mention, we have also helped line her up with a few job interviews, thanks to the mother of one of our small group members. So hopefully soon, she will also have a job again and be on her way to getting back on her feet.
Now, how in the world could all of that impacted and blessed me, you ask?
Because, seeing her gratitude for everything has shown me to be thankful no matter what, even when I want to be a Scrooge. Seeing her lean on God through her trials has taught me to never remove my focus from Him, even when it's so tempting. Seeing a smile on her face when it was evident she hadn't smiled in a long time brought joy to my soul. Seeing her daughter light up every time she talks about the friends she's made at church and how excited she is to talk about God makes my heart swell.
Bringing joy to them has brought joy to my life, as cliche as that sounds.
So, when you're going through a tough time where you don't want to be joyous, I recommend being a blessing and bringing joy to someone else. Because chances are good, you'll get a heavy dose of it, too.
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