Family Matters

This past week and a half, I was on vacation with my girlfriend and her family. We had a great time; but, one conversation with her dad, that lasted until 2:30am, has stuck with me.

We discussed a variety of things from me asking for his blessing, to our relationship, to my job, to my girlfriends' job, to family. The conversation just continued to flow from one topic to the next. However, one particular topic we discussed was family, and this topic has been stuck in my mind ever since.

More specifically, how important family is.

Sometimes, I believe that we take family for granted. We know they'll always be there for us, no matter the circumstance, so we don't really think about the fact that we may be slowly burning bridges with them.

This is extremely detrimental to the family unit, because if we take our family for granted, then they feel their value and importance is diminished: they're simply there because they're family.

I know I've struggled with this in the past, and hopefully I am doing a much better job of showing my family just how important they are to me. I don't want my family to have any doubt as to how important they are to me; I truly cherish each and every one of them. Yes, even those who drive me crazy or are super strange.

My family would not be the same without them in it.

And this also includes people who have become like family to me. These range from my girlfriend's family, some of my best friends, and also to some people at my church and work. I hope they all know just how important they are to me, and that I look forward to seeing them every chance I get.

This is a struggle, though. It's easy to fall into a mindset of complacency where we begin taking people for granted, especially those who are always there. It's easy to put our jobs, our enjoyments or our own schedules above others, because it's what we want. But, I believe, the only thing that should be above family is God. Our relationship with God should come first, and our relationship with our family (and those we consider family) should come second. From there, we can branch out to other things.

It's a fine line to tread, so we must be careful.

We must check ourselves when it comes to our relationships, to make sure that we aren't over-stepping and taking someone for granted. It's easy to fall into a pattern of expectation, where, since the family member is always there for us, we expect them to be there for us, and when they aren't or can't be, we get upset with them.

That's just not right. How can we be mad or upset at someone because they didn't follow our expectations?

Because we have begun taking them for granted, and so we're 'disappointed' when they don't fall in step with what we want or desire. That's where the detriment to a relationship comes from, because then we start seeing them as 'flaky', 'inconsistent', or 'untrustworthy'. All because they didn't fit our expectations of what we think they should do for us.

All because we took them for granted, and we aren't happy when they don't fit our mold.

I suggest taking time to make our family know just how important they are to us, because we don't know how long they'll be in our lives. This could be a simple gesture of just helping around the house, or something grandiose like celebrating them spontaneously.

When we do get the opportunity to see them - because, let's be real, sometimes we don't see family as often as we'd like - we need to make a point of making them know just how excited we are to see them. Chances are good they've missed us just as much as we've missed them.

Don't let another day go by without letting those you love know how much they mean to you. Let them know that you'll be there for them whenever you can, and realize that they'll be there for you when they can. But don't hold resentment towards them when they don't fall into your expectations, because they're only human, and sometimes things come up.

We can't take family for granted. It's a treasure from God, one that we should cherish forever.

Life is fleeting; nobody will be here forever, so take the time to make those you love feel their importance. Be sure to let them know how much they are valued by you.

It doesn't matter how cheap or expensive, easy or time-consuming it is; sometimes the best gestures are the simplest. And sometimes the simplest are the most cherished.

When you have to say goodbye, make that hug or kiss count. Don't do a simple peck on the cheek or a quick squeeze. Hold on tight; don't be the first to let go. You never know when you'll get another.

Make sure your family knows, because in the end, your family - and those you consider family - are what really matter.