Mama's Boy

I want to take a few minutes and talk about someone who is very near and dear to me: my mother.

Recently, my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, and she's having a very hard time coping with it. I try to remind her of how strong she is and that God is guiding her path, even through this difficult time.

It's difficult to watch someone go through such a struggle. But, it's also difficult to believe someone who tells you how strong you are when you're going through a struggle and you don't feel like you're handling it very well.

Let me back up a little and give some background on my mother:

Before I was born, my parents were foster parents. They took in children who didn't have a forever-home, and loved them until they found one. Eventually, they adopted two of these children: my brothers, Jason and Michael.

Little did they know the struggles that would come from this. The younger of the two boys had a variety of issues: at just a few weeks old, he was addicted to crack; he is bipolar; he had asthma; he has the reading mentality of a 4th grader; he has the social skills of a middle-schooler; he has anger issues.

Watching my mom handle my brother when he gets into one of his moods is so inspiring. She's so incredibly strong, even when she breaks down. Of course she has days where she wants to call it quits, and she cries and asks "Why me?", but for the past 26 years, she has loved and cherished my brother, despite all of those issues he has/had.

He can flip from the nicest guy you've met to the meanest in the drop of a hat, and my mom handles it like a champ. She knows how to react towards him to make his mood mellow out. She knows how to calm him down when he gets frustrated or annoyed. She knows how to appease him when he's freaking out about something as trivial as the gender of his chickens. Because, to him, those are major issues - even though, to us, they're trivial and don't really matter, I have to constantly remind myself of his mental state. He's 26 years old, but doesn't always act like it.

And, sure, my mom has to remind herself of this as well sometimes, but generally, she handles him so much better than I do.

Then, when I was 2 years old, my mom got in a bad car wreck. She was thrown threw the window, and, long story short, she walked with a cane for the better part of 15 years. At one point, it had gotten so bad that my parents had to invest in an electronic wheelchair to make sure she was able to get around the house.

So, on top of trying to cope with the adoption of a crack-addicted, bipolar, mentally-disabled 3-year-old, my mother now had to teach herself how to walk again. I don't remember much of it because I was so young, but I do remember seeing her favorite cane leaning next to the door, next to the pew at church, or next to her chair.

But just knowing that she persevered and got to a point where she didn't need that cane or the electronic wheelchair anymore is so inspiring. When it all seemed hopeless, she pushed through and found a strength within herself. When others would have given up on themselves, she never did.

And now, she's dealing with Parkinson's. I think this one is hitting her the hardest of everything else: she easily gets dizzy; she has trouble texting or writing because her hands shake; she has to walk with her cane again; she can't drive more than 5 miles away from the house; she forgets words; for a while, she was scared to babysit my niece and nephew.

It was a culmination of a great many things that came crashing down in one big, massive tidal wave, spinning her world out of control, and making her wonder how she would ever get through it.

But I just have to say: I know my mother. I've watched her my entire life. She is one of the strongest women -- if not the strongest woman -- I have ever met. She barely ever complains, and when she does, it's because she's finally had enough. She handles problems and issues with grace and faith. Through everything she's gone, she has relied on God to help her. Her faith has been unwavering, despite it all.

She may not see it now, but I know... I just know that she will survive this. She will come out on top, like she always has. She will find a way to handle this with grace and elegance and love. Instead of letting Parkinson's use her, she will use it.

She used to write for a magazine about being a foster and adoptive parent to a bipolar child. Instead of focusing on how bad she had it, she used her experience to help others. I would not be surprised if she found a way to use her experiences with Parkinson's to aid others who can't or won't handle it nearly as well as I know she will.

Does she have days where she feels pity for herself? Sure, who doesn't? But, do the days that she's more concerned with helping others and being strong outweigh those? You better believe it.

My mom is my hero. She always has been. And, even though she's struggling now, she's going to triumph in the end.