Intentionally Speaking

Proverbs 12:18 NIV says: "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Working with kids at my church, babysitting my niece and nephew, being an 'adopted uncle' to some boys at church, and hanging out with my girlfriends' siblings, I have learned one major thing: watch what you say.

When you are surrounded by kids, you have to make sure you word things in a way that is innocent to their ears so that they don't  begin saying something they shouldn't. But honestly, if a child shouldn't say it, neither should we.

If we get onto a kid for saying something, why do we feel it's alright for us to say it, just because we are an adult?

I have caught myself saying things along the lines of the casual: "Well, that's retarded."
Or even the jovial: "Okay, short-bus."
Or even the laughing: "You're such an idiot."

But when we hear kids say these things, our tunes change. We tell them to watch their mouths, or 'you shouldn't say that'.

Why is it okay for an adult to say those kind of things, but a child can't? After all, kids are always listening. They're learning from us what they're supposed to say and do, and this includes those casual derogatory statements we all make without even thinking about it. So, how can we get onto them when they're just copying us?

This can also be geared towards harsher words that we, as society, have deemed a cuss-word. Personally, I try not to cuss, and most of the people I know don't cuss. But, why is it that the adults who cuss don't see the problem with it, but once a child says the same word, our reaction is either: 1) "How cute!?" or 2) "Don't say that!" ?

None of that makes sense to me. I don't believe in double standards, and once you boil it down, that's all this is: a double standard. Adults can do one thing while telling kids to do another.

Proverbs 20:23 NIV talks on this very clearly: "The LORD detests double standards; He is not pleased by dishonest scales."

Interesting. The Lord detests double standards. And yet, as a society, we seem to live with them, almost willingly.

As I continue to learn more about what kids ministry entails, I have intentionally changed the way I speak. I don't want to be considered a double standard. I don't want a kid to hear me say something unintentionally derogatory, and think that's okay. I don't want anyone to hear me say something that could be deemed derogatory, and think "well, if that's how Christian's act, I don't want to be one."

If we say something is 'retarded', that's derogatory to the people who have any type of retardation, whether mentally or physically.

If we say something is 'gay', that's derogatory towards homosexuals of both genders.

If we joke about someone being 'slow' or 'riding the short-bus', that's derogatory towards those who deal with those handicaps daily.

As a society, we need to be intentional in what we say. We need to guard our tongues, and make sure that we aren't being derogatory, whether intentionally or unintentionally. We must speak words of kindness and love, instead of ones that have the potential to harm others.

As Christians, we must live and speak in a way that guides people to Christ. That's our sole purpose on Earth: to lead people to Christ and help grow His kingdom.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirits has come upon you, and you will be witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.' - Acts 1:8 ESV.

It's hard to do this when we're living a double standard by saying one thing, then getting onto kids for doing the same thing.

So, why don't we start leading by example by guarding our tongues, speaking intentionally, and raising a generation who doesn't throw derogatory terms out like moon pies at a Mardi Gras parade?