Love the Sinner

I get asked often, "As a Christian, what is your stance on homosexuality?"

Let me start by saying, I believe what the Bible teaches, and the Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." - Leviticus 18:22, ESV.

That being said, it also teaches that lying is a sin. Stealing is a sin. Murder is a sin. Coveting something someone else has is a sin. Loving something or someone more than you love God is a sin (becomes an idol).

A sin is a sin is a sin. I'm a sinner for lying, just as much as the person who is homosexual is a sinner for going against God's Word and lying with a member of the same sex.

Now is where it gets tricky, though.

As a born-again Christian, I still sin. However, I do my best to not sin. I know lying is a sin, so I do my best not to lie. I know stealing is a sin, so I try to avoid doing it (see my previous blog post). But that's where the line is - I know it's wrong, so I do what I can to not do that. But when I do sin - which, let's be honest, is daily - I repent and ask God for forgiveness, because I know it's wrong and that it separates me from Him.

People who are homosexual, for the most part, believe that there's nothing wrong, so they don't bother trying to not do it. They don't repent and ask God for forgiveness, because they don't believe they need to be forgiven. Let me be clear: this is not a fair description of all people who identify as homosexual, I understand that, but from the ones I know, this is what they have told me. They feel like there's nothing wrong with being homosexual, so why should they repent?

That's where the difference is: as Christians, we realize that certain things are a sin and that we cannot have true fellowship with Christ with sin in our lives, so we repent and ask for forgiveness.

Does this mean that a homosexual person can't be a Christian? No. I firmly believe that anyone can be saved by Christ, no matter your ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, or gender. But, I also believe that in order to be a true follower, a person must love God, and to love God, we must follow His instructions, which include not having sexual relations with a member of the same gender.

"Love the LORD your God and keep His requirements, His decrees, His laws and His commands always." - Deuteronomy 11:1, NIV.

"In fact, this is love for God: to keep His commands. And His commands are not burdensome." - 1 John 5:3, NIV.

"And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it." - 2 John 1:6, ESV.

"If you love me, obey my commandments." - John 14:15, NLT.

Now, does this mean that we as Christians should hate those who choose to live in sin? Absolutely not.

Some of my best friends are homosexuals. Do I agree with their life choices? No. Do I still love them? Absolutely.

It's sad to say that one of them was actually scared to come out to me, because he had been scorned by the church he grew up in. We had been best friends for 14 years at this point (we met in kindergarten), and it took him posting something on social media for me to begin questioning about him.

Honestly, I didn't want to believe this about him, because back then, I was very narrow-minded and thought all homosexuals were going to Hell, and I didn't want to believe my best friend would end up there.

When I finally got the nerve to ask him about that post on social media, he replied saying that he didn't tell me sooner because he was scared of how I'd react. When he confirmed my fears, I didn't know how to respond. He then went on to tell me that he chose not to tell me because he had been scorned and turned away by his own church; they were determined that someone with a sin that great could never be saved, and therefore they didn't want him there anymore.

Isn't that horrible? He had grown up in this church, and just because he sinned differently than them, he was no longer welcome.

That was a slap in the face to me. I realized that my own narrow-mindedness almost cost me one of my best friends.

I still didn't know how to react, though. So, instead of immediately responding, I prayed. I prayed for discernment and wisdom and to know what I believed, and not what everybody else was telling me to believe, about the situation.

In the end, I came to the realization that I believe that, as stated previously, a sin is a sin is a sin. Yes, he sins differently than I do, but that doesn't mean I'm any less of a sinner than him. All sin separates us from God, so who was I to condemn my best friend when I was just as separated because I lied? All I was supposed to do was pray for him, as I would for anybody else who struggles with something.

When I finally responded, I told him that this changed nothing between us. I still loved him. I told him that, though I don't understand nor do I agree with his life-choice, I also wouldn't judge him for it.

He's still one of my best friends. Is he still gay? Yes. But, it's not my place to judge him. It's my place to love him and show him the love of Christ.

I've also heard it said that you can 'pray away the gay'. I'm not entirely sure what I believe on this. Honestly, it sounds horrible. It almost sounds like people think they can just pray for someone and they'll magically be different. And, yes, if God wanted it to be like that, He could do that. But, it also makes the person sound like they don't have much faith in God and His ability to work inside someone.

If we want a magical antidote to a fix that only God can do, there's a major issue. He isn't a magician on stage doing tricks for entertainment.

I believe that God gave us free will, so it would be the person's choice to decide, despite their feelings or temptations, they were going to lean on God during their struggle. And once they turn to God for help, then He begins working inside of them. Yes, we can pray that God will turn their hearts to Him and they will realize they need His help, but we can't 'pray the gay away'. That's complete nonsense, if you ask me.

So, instead of harboring hatred in our hearts for someone who sins differently than us, or believing that anything we do could possibly change their hearts, we need to show them the love of Christ. We don't need to make them feel like outcasts, because that's not showing them Christ, and that will definitely not turn them to Him.

Christ loved and welcomed the ones that everyone else scorned and left  behind. If we are going to be Christ-like, we should do the same.

Let's love the sinner, but hate the sin. And I think we'll all be surprised just how much impact that will have.