There are days where I question if I'm supposed to be volunteering in kids ministry. Then there are days where I'm thrilled to be a part of it in the many ways I am. And then there are days where I wish I could work in kids ministry as a full-time job.
As I've mentioned before in a few blog posts, this time a year ago I was attempting to mentally prepare myself to have children - even though there's no true preparation for that step - when my plans to have children was put on hold indefinitely.
I was devastated. But, through God's grace, He pulled me into kids ministry at my church.
Let me just say - this was a turning point for me. Growing up, I always preferred to talk to people older than me rather than deal with people my own age or younger. I didn't want anything to do with kids; to me, they were annoying and obnoxious.
But again, God had different plans. He completely changed my outlook to the point where now I'd prefer to hang out with kids than to hang out with people my own age or older - usually.
In His own way, He gave me 15 - 30 kids, all boys. Though they're not truly mine, they might as well be: I'd fight for those boys, defend them when necessary, and pour a ton of effort into their lives to make sure they understand that they are loved.
I don't know the home lives of any of these boys, but I know not every one of their home lives can be great. Some of them have demons they wrestle with, some of them may have bad or abusive parents, some may have absent parents. Some may have parents who never really wanted them, so they send them to church to have a few hours of peace. Honestly, I don't know. For all I know, I could be wrong about all of the above.
What I do know is that regardless of their home lives, I can still impact them. I can still show them they have importance, they're loved - not only by me, but more importantly, by God, their futures are bright.
Some of these boys have commented that I'm the older brother they never had. I love it because I am the youngest of my family, so I never had younger siblings. I like the fact that, though I'm twice their age, they look up to me, respect me, and consider me a friend, even though I'm first and foremost their teacher.
We have fun. We laugh. We make jokes. We act stupid. We get in arguments. We've annoyed one another. I've seen a few of them cry. I've helped others through difficulties. I've defended them.
In a weird way, in the past year we have become a family of sorts.
And this past week, I have never been more proud of these boys. I felt more like a proud parent than a proud teacher.
Last Wednesday (May 11), we had baptism and communion night at Mission 56, where any kid who wanted to be baptized could. Then we would follow it by doing communion for any of the kids who had decided to follow Christ, whether before that night or on that night.
Two of my 5th grade boys decided to follow Christ, and to acknowledge it through baptism that night. I was unaware that they had made this decision - they had spoken to the Kids Ministry pastor about it, unbeknownst to me.
When Pastor Brandon announced who was going to get baptized that night, I was sitting behind my kids, wondering who it would be. Brandon had told me there were two kids being baptized, but he didn't elaborate as to who those would be.
Then he called their names, and I realized. It was two of my boys. I was, and am, so proud! I couldn't stop smiling at their decision, feeling like a proud parent (or older brother) watching them get into the water, listen to Pastor Brandon, then go under the water and rise as a new creation.
I took pictures and video of it - again, like a proud parent. I was beaming the entire time. I was so thrilled for them!
A few days later, Sunday May 15, another wonder happened. Brandon came up to me and informed me that a kid whom I had had in my class only about 4 times (he is a 2nd grader, whereas I teach 4th and 5th, unless the 2nd grade teacher is out) was going to be baptized at the end of one of the services. And, rather than have his normal teacher be there for it, he had requested that I be next to the baptistery when it happened.
Another boy, whom I hadn't truly 'adopted' as my own yet because he wasn't in my class, had adopted me. Instead of wanting his 2nd grade teacher, whom he'd had for the past year, to be there for the baptism, he had asked me. Me. Who had only had him in my class maybe 4 times. Me? Me.
When I heard this, I teared up. Without realizing it, I had reached this boy in just 3 or 4 meetings. I had made an impact on him to the point he wanted me to be there to help him celebrate his decision to follow Christ.
I am so proud of these boys, and have such love for them! I'm so thrilled to see where God leads them in their walk with Him. I'm so excited to see how He uses them and their abilities. I can't wait for them to do something amazing for Christ and come to tell me all about it.
Like I said before, there are times when I want to quit. But then, there are times like the ones mentioned above which remind me of how much of an impact I'm having on these kids, even when I don't see it. I didn't know I was going to reach a 2nd grader, but somehow, I made an impact on him in just a short amount of time.
If I can reach him in 4 days, what could I do in a year? Two? Six? How many people could I influence in that amount of time? How many kids can I lead to, or closer to, Christ?
That's the greatest thing I can think of ever doing - leading someone to Christ, whether I'm just the one planting the seed or the one watching it sprout. I'm so thrilled for them, and I look forward to hearing more stories of my kids making that decision in the years to come.
♡
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