Step of Faith

"The hardest part of any journey is taking that first step." - Unknown.

Nobody is sure of who said the above quote, but I can promise you that whoever it was knew what they were talking about. And I can completely relate.

Back in March, I saw in my church bulletin that they were offering a mission trip to India, to love on special needs orphans (who are considered unclean in India, and therefore, nobody wants anything to do with them), and to feed the homeless (who sleep on and dig through trash for food) in October 2016.

After working with 4th and 5th graders for the past year, I have come to realize that kids ministry is where my heart is, and this trip sounded absolutely perfect. It fit in exactly with what I felt like God was telling me to do.

But, I didn't want to make a hasty decision. I don't believe in circumstances, but just because it aligned with something I'm passionate about didn't necessarily mean that God was telling me to go.

I prayed about it. And prayed. And prayed some more. And, you know what? I prayed some more. I didn't want to take this decision lightly, for numerous reasons. One of these reasons being that it is quite expensive. Another, I'd have to take off work. Another, I'd miss out teaching my kids for two Sundays, and one Wednesday.

I spoke with people at the church, my girlfriend, my best friend, my parents, and my small group, asking for guidance. And you know what they all told me? It was my decision - one I had to make based on what I felt God was telling me to do. Now, don't get me wrong, they definitely helped by giving their insight or their opinions, but it's always so much easier to have someone just tell you what you're supposed to do, than to have to decide it for yourself. Especially on something like this.

When I was at the Rock and Worship Roadshow is when I mentioned the trip to my best friend. I told him my concerns about missing my kids for two Sundays and a Wednesday, and his response really hit me. He said: "You have those kids for, what, 52 days a year? And your Wednesday kids for 20 to 26? I think they'll survive without you for one or two days. But those kids in India need someone like you."

Well, if that's not a slap in the face, I don't know what is.

But I still hadn't made up my mind. Was it possible that his comment wasn't actually guidance telling me to go, but simply letting me know that my kids wouldn't be upset without me there for a few days?

As the weeks went by, I was still praying about it, and the deadline for the deposit was quickly approaching.

The Sunday before I had to make a final decision (April 10), I had 27 kids in my class at church. 27 kids. Ranging from 1st to 4th grade. All boys. Is this death? Was this really happening? My assistant wasn't able to make it, so I had 27 boys all by myself! Thankfully one of the worship leaders stepped in to help after leading worship, but for approximately 40 minutes, I had 27 boys. By. Myself.

But you know something? That was the best my boys had been in a long time. They even all brought their Bible's (which, how all of them can bring their Bible's when there are 27 of them, but only half can bring them when there's only 6 is beyond me), and earned a donut party.

Later, the woman who helped me with the boys commented that, despite the amount of kids I had, I showed true patience with them, showing them Christ' love. Her words were: "If your patience was wearing thin, or you were getting aggravated, you're really good at hiding it, because you looked so calm and in command. You are a natural with kids."

I must say, that was a massive compliment to my ego, and confirmation that kids ministry is where I need to be.

Well, on Tuesday April 12, I was praying again asking if I'm supposed to take this step of faith and head to India for 9 days. And I was bombarded with reminders of what my best friend said, what the lady at church on Sunday had said, what people in my small group had said, what my girlfriend had said, what my parents had said. And I made my decision.

I'm going to India from Oct 21, 2016 to Oct 30, 2016.

But now that I had made this decision, there was still that doubt: Am I just going because I want to go? Am I just going along with what others want me to do? Am I actually being called to India?

This past Sunday, I went to the interest meeting and paid my deposit. As soon as the money left my hands, an overwhelming "what have I done?!" moment came over me.

I had just paid to go to India.... What was I thinking?!

Pushing through, I taught my kids and went to main church. Our pastor was continuing a sermon-series that he had begun 3 weeks ago titled the Summit Series. Basically, the series is about the mountains of the Bible and what we can learn from them. Long story short, he was talking about Abraham being told by God to sacrifice Isaac, and how if Abraham hadn't obeyed God's direction, he wouldn't have seen God's provision (the ram stuck in the thicket). Then he ended it with: "God will test your faith. He will throw you into a furnace in order to make you something new."

Slap in the face number two. If nothing else, this was just more confirmation that I was supposed to go, despite my fear. Abraham didn't understand why God was telling him to sacrifice Isaac, but he knew who God was, and knew that no matter what happened, God would take care of him, even possibly to the point of bringing Isaac back to life (Hebrews 11:19).

As my pastor said, Abraham didn't understand the plan, but he knew his God, and that was enough.

Well, dang. If that isn't motivation and encouragement, I don't know what is. I may not know what God is going to do through me when I'm in India, but I know my God. He is going to take care of me. If He truly wants me to go to India, He will provide a way.

I was reading my Bible on Monday during lunch, and came across: "You have tested us, O God; you have purified us like silver melted in a crucible." - Psalms 66:10. We had previously covered this verse, and I had written to the side: "our ordinary faith must go through fire to become extraordinary faith; crucible = furnace".

Slap in the face number three. Have you ever gotten slapped so many times you feel like your head was spinning? That's where I was now.

I thought I was in a good place with India, but God knew better. He knew that I needed to be slapped around again in order to make me realize that He was about to test me in a hard way. But, it was also to remind me that He had this all under control.

I'm still going to India, and I have no idea what kind of furnace He's going to throw me into. But I know that whatever it is, it'll be for my own good and that He will use it to grow my faith and help me get closer to Him.

As scary as it sounds to be thrown into a furnace and knowing that your faith is going to be tested, I kind of look forward to it with a raw anticipation, knowing that it's going to purify and change me into something better than I am now, as only a test of faith can do.

I still have to raise money to get to India, and if you'd like to help, I'd greatly appreciate it! You can donate money or buy a t-shirt (picture below) at this link: Support Daniel's Mission Trip to India.

And just remember: whenever God is testing you, He's got it all handled. You have nothing to fear, as difficult as that is.