Have you ever noticed that when one bad thing happens, it usually is followed by another, and then another, and then another, until you're buried under a pile of bad things, just trying to find something good in the middle of your mess?
That happened to me just recently.
On Oct 13, I took the day off of work because all the papers were ready for me to sign to move forward with the divorce. That was a terrible day, one I truly never wanted to happen. I signed at 9 that morning and was done by 10. Then I just drove around aimlessly, not wanting to go home, not wanting to stop, because I knew that if I did, I'd do nothing but think about what I had just done. But there was nothing I could do to change it; my soon-to-be ex-wife didn't want anything to do with me. She had made her choice, and because I loved her, I wasn't going to force her to stay.
I ended up wandering the mall for a few hours, not really looking at anything, but making sure to keep myself distracted.
Finally, that day had ended and I thought I was on the path to a happier life.
But then, on Oct 16, my boss blew up on me and blamed me for things that I had no influence over. Instead of getting with the correct person, he verbally attacked me since I was the closest person around, and was the only one who had any idea of what he was referencing. Again, I was in the middle of drama that I had no control over, and I was so tempted to fight back.
Instead, I dove into Scripture and bit my tongue. The Bible says to honor your boss, and do not complain about him: "Servants, obey your boss. Respect him with all your heart and try to please him as you would Christ. Obey not only when he is looking at you, as if you were pleasing a man. But obey as the servants of Christ, and do with all your heart what God wants you to do. Work gladly as if you were working for the Lord and not for men." - Ephesians 6: 4-6.
This was the last thing I wanted to do, but I knew that arguing wouldn't get me anywhere. Instead, I decided to focus on my work, show him that I wasn't the culprit, and allow my work to speak for me. By doing this, the drama at work seemed to calm down, and again, I thought I was on the path to some light in the midst of all my darkness.
But then, drama erupted in my church small group, of which I am a co-leader. Without going into too much detail, it finally came to a head where I had to tell the person creating all the drama that they needed to leave, because the group was not going to tolerate the drama they wanted to ensue.
As I said before, one bad thing led to another which led to another, until I was drowning in a sea of despair. I didn't have any real time to cope with the signing of the papers before something else was thrown my way. Then, while I was still reeling from being chewed out for something I didn't do, I now had to put that aside and deal with drama that could tear up my church group.
I don't believe in coincidences or chance. I believe everything happens for a reason; therefore, I don't think it was just a random occurrence that my church pastor preached about our Shield of Faith the Sunday before everything happened. He specifically said that the shield was supposed to be close enough that we could grab it when we're in the middle of the battle; it should always be at hand. He also said that the shield was to protect us from all types of adversary - our Shield of Faith should be something we can stand behind when the enemy is attacking us.
Also, he pointed to how sometimes we are tempted in the garden (Eve in the garden; Genesis 3:6), when everything is going great; but that we can also be tempted in the desert (Jesus in the desert; Matthew 4), when we are at our weakest.
During all of this, I was clearly in the desert, and I could feel myself being so tempted by many things. With the papers, I was tempted by depression; to lock myself away and just let the world move on without me. But, at the last moment, I pulled my Shield of Faith in front of me and protected myself from that blow.
Then, with my boss, I was tempted to not honor him. Instead, all I really wanted to do was argue, tell him he was wrong, and he needed to start paying attention to who was really at fault. Again, I realized at the last moment that this was not the way I needed to handle this - instead, I grabbed my Shield of Faith.
Lastly, with the person in my church group, I was very tempted to just walk away and let somebody else handle it. But, that wasn't the way it should've gone down. Instead, I needed to handle it directly and calmly, and try to find a good, Christ-like compromise.
Misery loves company, or so the saying goes. But I believe, God uses the misery in our lives to help us grow closer to Him. I have no doubt that's one reason that I had to deal with all of those things so close together. Coincidence or not, God used my pastor to teach me to grab my Shield of Faith during the difficult times, then he tested me to see if I would listen.
I won't say that I always do, because that would be a lie. But for these three instances, I feel like I actually paid attention, and because of this, my faith has grown stronger that ever.
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